When They Call Us Dead Before We Die and We Call Them Monsters

when they call us dead before we die
but our hearts are still beating
where do we go if not the grave / in minds
underground. foundation.
we build upon
something becoming nothing
someone becoming never
so it seems to be the case / they make
when they call us dead while we have breath / beckoning from coffins
they talked themselves into this demise with us.

still, we call them monsters like they deserve a way out
of the ground they try to put us in.
we give them titles they should not own
digging our graves as surely as they wanted
we die. dehumanizing.
didn’t we learn from their mistakes?
why do we plan our own funerals on our tongues
while we elevate them beyond
this / reality
is monsters don’t die / like humans.
cannot be held accountable for their sins
because their nature is not of us.
They are what they are
immovable
if we remove their humanity
and kill them as they stand in time today.

so they become what we call them
and we become how they view us
when they call us dead before we die
and we call them monsters.

Pictured: Me, very much human. Very much alive.

I refuse to write this poem as a forgiveness or absolution of harm caused. It is not my place to speak in that manner. But I collect these words together as an homage to my soul, blooming out of my chest; here you hold witness. This is not a fight for proof that I am deserving of life abundant. I have exceeded my need to humanize myself into care that should have already existed. This poem is a grace I offer inwards as a resistance to not prematurely sink underground before my time has come. Hopefully as I seek to save myself while I am above the grave, you will be doing the same for yourself in your work.

As surely as they pay a price for dehumanizing us in the process of marginalization, I will learn from their mistakes and call them by name and not by a title that does not befit their humanity. I will not let them die before their hearts stop beating for that is how we spin in circles. One cannot hold something accountable if they are acting in accordance to their own nature and therefore cannot do differently. But humans are capable of change. So I rewrite them into the myriad. I take this that is broken and invite them into the whole because we are still beating hearts together.

what happens if we call them human

and declare ourselves alive until our very last breath?